Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
