You don't have asthma, your pregnant
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
