Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
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