Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
