hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
