My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
