One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
