Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
