either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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