Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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