Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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