So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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