That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
