Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Four minutes until I can fart!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Randomize
