WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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