He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
