It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
