dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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