you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
