i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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