he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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