I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
