YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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