Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You can't just leave with hair like that
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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