The maid of honor just puked.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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