The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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