Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
