well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My ass is underappreciated
Bring me that man meat
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
