He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
