I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
