is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
