I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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