I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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