I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
3 2 1 whiskey
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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