Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
