My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
