google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
