If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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