4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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