You made me cry and you don't even care
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
cat food counts as protein by the way
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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