Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
