If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
