just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize