careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
