The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
