Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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