I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
