Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
