yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
