dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
