yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize