If that was your dad, he is hot
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
