shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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