i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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