hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you didnt know i had herpes?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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