But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
