there's paper in my vomit.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
