Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
