These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
A bitchslap is in order.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
