The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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