I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
