Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
