You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
