Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
