Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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