dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
